And he longs for you
by Musigu
Summary: Years after Sasuke leaves Konoha, Naruto still refuses to let go. Sasuke wants to kill him, but so does someone else. Does Sasuke truly feel nothing? SasuNaru, NaruSasu.
1. Chapter 1

Disc: Naruto is not mine, yadda yadda.

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Sasuke was the self-proclaimed avenger. He was often cold in his manner and seemed to prefer solitude. He would drive himself on through grueling practice sessions and battles, pushing to become strong enough to get revenge and restore his clan's honor. 

Even so, Sasuke was a respected ninja in Konoha and his team came to value him greatly. Despite his usual emotional distance, Sasuke always had their back. Together Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto had been formidable team, and Sasuke had saved both of them more than once.

But after Orochimaru cursed him, his drive to avenge his clan became mixed with a terrible thirst for power. Suddenly things that Sasuke had abhorred as steps too far to obtain his goal were starting to seem reasonable. He remembered things his brother had done to increase his powers and found himself contemplating them overlong.

Itachi had told him how to unlock greater powers of his Sharingan. With clinical detachment he had explained how he murdered his closest friend. To have any hope of obtaining Mangekyou Sharingan and becoming stronger than Itachi, Sasuke too would have to kill his best friend.

Sasuke had always sought to be alone. Others were unnecessary, he had lost his family and that was it for him. Yet despite his resolve, unknowingly he had formed an intense attachment. Sasuke had blinded himself to the connection until the day it suddenly became threatened, and Sasuke had found himself willingly giving his life to protect it.

He hadn't been happy at the realization. He believed attachments to be weaknesses, and felt resentment about it, as though he were the victim of cheap trickery.

Eventually it became too much for Sasuke, the curse, his thirst for power, and his resentments, drove him from Konoha, and straight to Orochimaru.

Naruto had not let him go easily. The blond had followed him, demanding that he see reason and come back. This was the first time Sasuke tried to kill Naruto…

Naruto had fought with astonishing ferocity and passion. And Sasuke had known it wasn't for the satisfaction of winning or for honor that he fought like that, but because Naruto felt the same as he did. Naruto's closest connection to anybody… was with him.

Sasuke had watched the disbelief, anger and hurt in Naruto as they fought. He had watched those eyes scream with emotion when they realized that Sasuke had every intention of killing him. Yet he fought on, stubborn in his belief that he could save him from Orochimaru, and from himself. But Sasuke didn't want to be saved. The fight had been brutal, long lasting and had torn at both of them.

Chidori met Rasengan. Sasuke had watched his hand drive Chidori through Naruto's chest easily, like a hot blade to melting butter. He had seen Naruto's face contort in pain and realized, that in the same moment, Naruto had deliberately diverted his attack and had scratched Sasuke's forehead protector harmlessly instead.

Inside the energy ball formed from the collision, they had floated in eerie stillness, the eye of the storm, and simply looked at each other. Even influenced by their cursed forms, their eyes had bespoken the intensity of their pain, and they drowned in the memories of all the times they had depended on each other, enjoyed each others company, teased each other, and taken everything for granted. Everything was in those eyes, in those few seconds of raw honesty.

In the next moment, the ball erupted in powerful blinding light. When the light had faded; Naruto lay unconscious and broken at Sasuke's feet, his face still and relaxed; utterly vulnerable. Sasuke had his chance to finally deliver the killing blow, severing his indefinable bond with the bold and foolish ninja.

The cold rain began to pour like crying Gods… Sasuke's heart ached. Looking down, the sight of the blond at his feet had anguished him. There in the material covering Naruto's chest, was the gaping hole were moments before Sasuke had thrust his hand right through, like Naruto meant nothing. He should have died, but the skin below was intact. Sasuke hadn't known Naruto could heal himself; he surely would have been standing over Naruto's lifeless body otherwise.

The cursed mark on his shoulder flared up and he had fallen to his knees, gripping his shoulder in pain, and coughing up blood. When he had recovered somewhat, he realized his face was just above Naruto's, and he stared down at the person who had given everything to try and bring him back. In contrast to the bone chilling rain, he had felt the gentle heat radiating from Naruto.

For a long time he'd remained there, memorizing every detail of Naruto for what was probably the last time. His face, his smell, his warmth… Even at this point, he had _wanted_ to see something that would have give him the strength to finish him, to break their ties, obtain Mangekyou Sharingan, and to prove that he was stronger than anything, and stronger than his attachment to Naruto.

But in that moment, gazing down on the battered body of the boy who had somehow become closer to him than anyone before; all he had seen and all he took with him was pain, wretched and hollow.

Shakily he had risen to his feet and made his way through the forest, stumbling and clutching the curse mark at his shoulder. He had betrayed his best friend and there was no going back. He had known there would be necessary prices to pay to become stronger. When he walked away he had tried to convince himself that he was not weak, that Naruto was nothing to him. He rambled and justified everything until eventually he had almost convinced himself…

He could have killed the blond idiot, but it would be following Itachi's path. He would become far more powerful than Itachi in his own way. And that was the reason Naruto was still alive. It had nothing to do with his feelings for him…. Nothing.

**4 YEARS LATER...**

"Sakura. Kakashi. To what do I owe this inconvenience?"

Sakura glared back fiercely at him with watery, red rimmed eyes.

"Sasuke."

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**Next chapter we find out what on earth is wrong with Sakura, and where is Naruto?**

**Thanks for reading! Please review**.


	2. Chapter 2

_4 YEARS LATER_

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"_Sakura. Kakashi. To what do I owe this inconvenience?"_

_Sakura glared back fiercely at him with watery, red rimmed eyes. _

"_Sasuke."_

Sasuke stood on a slope adjacent to a small rocky clearing. Hands firmly on his hips, he stared down to where Kakashi and Sakura were standing on the flatter ground below. His posture seemed arrogant, yet his face revealed no emotion whatsoever.

He wore the same sort of clothes he had first donned when he'd joined Orochimaru.

His white shirt fluttering slightly in the breeze, revealing glimpses of his leanly muscled chest. He looked almost to perfect to be human, standing there with strands of his dark hair blowing unnoticed across his face.

"Pursuing me is pointless." He intoned blankly. "You have become just as much fools as Nar-"

"SHUTUP!" Sakura burst out in sudden fury as she readied herself to attack him.

"You have no right to even SAY his name!"

Her voice wasn't just angry… it was laced with pain. She was lashing out.

Moving in front of Sakura, Kakashi placed his hands on her shoulders forcefully, effectively restraining her. "Stop, Sakura! This won't help anything."

But she was not done raging at Sasuke and struggled against the grip. It took a few moments of futile struggling before her shoulders slumped forward in resignation.

With a sigh, Kakashi moved with sudden inhuman speed to stand beside Sasuke. Sasuke did not look even slightly shocked.

"We are not here for you, but for Naruto."

"And yet I don't sense his chakra." Sasuke replied.

A stream of loud incoherent curses came from Sakura's direction.

"SAKURA!" Kakashi shouted, stunning the raving girl in to silence.

"Please let me handle this."

Sakura mouthed a few silent protests before shutting her mouth under Kakashi's piercing gaze, and slowly nodding in angry acceptance.

Kakashi turned back toward Sasuke.

"Just don't interfere with Konoha or her plans, and no Konoha ninja will stop you again."

"I doubt that. Even if _you_ desist, no matter how pointless it is, there is one idiot who will never drop this."

"I'm afraid he is no longer able to make that choice… We were ambushed. Itachi got to him. They fought."

"Itachi. Where is he?"

Though only the upper half of his face could be seen, bitter disappointment showed clearly on Kakashi's face.

"Sasuke, I'm trying to tell you that Naruto… He's dead, Sasuke."

"..."

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**Short chapter, so I'm adding two at once. Read on!**


	3. Chapter 3

"_Sasuke, I'm trying to tell you that Naruto… He – He's dead, Sasuke."_

"…_."_

Sasuke's eyes widened. Suddenly the world had stopped spinning. Kakashi couldn't be serious.

He glanced over at Sakura, her fists were clenched and tears streamed from her eyes. She glared at him with angry accusing eyes. Even without her, Kakashi's expression left no question about the truth of what had just been said. His mind fought the news; it wasn't possible for Naruto to dead. He was too _alive_ to die.

Kakashi broke the silence.

"They didn't take him easily, he is- was… an excellent ninja. For a while it seemed like we had the upper hand, but in the next moment they'd isolated him from us. We were so distracted fighting, we didn't see it happening until it was too late."

He paused for a moment, frowning as he remembered what had transpired.

"We were fools. He was their target from the beginning. They concentrated the brunt of their attacks on him; there was no way out for him and we couldn't break through. There were just too many and they were too strong. There was no one who could have held off those attacks for long. When he finally faltered, Itachi caught him in an instant with his Mangekyou Sharingan. It was the Tsukuyomi genjutso… he tortured him.

Sasuke winced inwardly. He had been on the receiving end of that before. Itachi was ruthless. He had no doubt Naruto must have suffered terribly.

This was too confusing; he shouldn't be feeling so affected being told this. He had let go, Naruto was behind him now.

Kakashi was clearly upset. He looked at the ground as he continued with a voice softened with sadness and disbelief.

"He… -with that technique for so long. It wasn't necessary. He was already so… there was no point. It was sick, it was really sick-"

A soft thud was heard and both Sasuke and Kakashi turned to see Sakura on her knees sobbing.

Turning back to Sasuke, Kakashi continued on quietly.

"…Eventually he collapsed. Almost as soon as he touched they ground they all vanished. He is a Jinchuuriki…. they took him for harvesting."

Sasuke was still having trouble processing that Naruto could possibly be dead and why he was feeling so conflicted about it.

"We haven't been able to find where they've taken him. We tried every trace technique we know. Though there's no trail leading there, we went back to the place they took Gaara… but the place is deserted. We lost him."

"This place they took Gaara. What does it look like?" Sasuke said.

Kakashi looked surprised but answered anyway.

"It's a cavern. It has a stone carving of a head in the centre with closed eyes that open the more chakra it absorbs. There are pillars surrounding it. The Akatsuki though they weren't there physically, channeled their chakra from them. They appeared in some sort of projected form of themselves, but they were still able to channel chakra from Gaara.

Suddenly images of a place nearby bombarded Sasuke's mind. Orochoimaru had shown him this secret of the Akatsuki. He had told him it was impossible to find without someone who already knew it was there. Not even Orochimaru was supposed to know, but he hadn't spent his time with the Akatusuki being mindlessly obedient.

The place was a strange sort of temple in the middle of the forest, its energy oppressively cold. At the centre, just like the place Kakashi had described, was a stone head with many eyes surrounded by towering stone pillars.

Sasuke drew in a sharp intake of breath. How many places like this were there? What if Naruto had been taken to _this_ one?

"You only saw them take him, how can you be sure he's dead?"

"Gaara was completely drained of the bijou's chakra in two days. It's been three days since they took Naruto."

"Even though it's Naruto, you should know its hopeless. When they took him he was so close to dead that he might just as well have been."

"So you're giving up?" Sasuke said, and was unable to keep a trace of anger from the question.

A flicker of surprise flashed across Kakashi's face to be replaced by sadness. But Sasuke had more important things to worry about than what Kakashi was thinking.

For a long moment though, Kakashi said nothing and simply looked toward the horizon, collecting his thoughts.

Sasuke stood impatiently with his hands on his hips in a superior manner, though he knew it was no longer as convincing. Kakashi turned toward him finally.

"Even though I haven't seen his body, my reasoning tells me he must be dead by now. I have no way to reach him. If he is still alive, he is suffering only to die. No one is coming for him."

Kakashi looked old.

"We tried everything and found nothing. If we knew where he was we would fight with everything we have to bring him back. Even if he no longer lives, at least we could… bring his body home. You must know that much, Sasuke."

Sasuke stared, unable to form any kind of response that wouldn't further reveal how badly the news had affected him. Even now, after all this time… Wasn't this what he wanted? In crushing finality his bond with Naruto had been broken.

But_ they _had no right; it should have been his hand if anyone's. They hadn't just killed him; they had made him suffer far past the point of anything useful to them. Sasuke had no interest in drawing it out. He didn't deserve that… he didn't deserve…

A part Sasuke crumpled… he really didn't deserve to die. He didn't deserve any of it. Sasuke didn't feel stronger, freer, or more capable. He felt like the very thing he was trying so hard to avoid. Weak. The world had turned upside down, and good was conquered by evil.

Sasuke wondered how he would have coped with having to watch Naruto in so much pain and being powerless to help him like Kakashi and Sakura had been. Misery was joined by feeling sick to his bones at the thought… and then the anger swept in… terrible burning anger…

"He never gave up on you. For his sake, please wake up. Don't become Itachi in order to defeat him, Sasuke."

Without a word, Sasuke swept off like a flash of light toward the forest.

_Please still be alive__, Naruto! I'm coming. _

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**Phew, how's that for a double update?!**

**My first story so please review with helpful comments, or encouragement if you're enjoying the ride. Ta!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the wait! I know its short, I'll try and do better! Speedily written and re-written and then finally submitted with a shrug! Enjoy!_

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Sasuke tried to calm his unfamiliar and haywire emotions as he entered the cavern. Now more than ever, he needed to focus. Block out everything. He could do it. He had done it before. He was Sasuke.

He stepped softly but swiftly through the damp tunnels. A stiff icy wind forcing an involuntary shudder from him. Freezing chill blew from seemingly non existent sources like cold creeping death.

There was no resistance to his entry. But it did nothing to ease the sense of foreboding the elite ninja felt. Perhaps the Akutsuki were overconfident in the cloaking jutso used on this place? Perhaps they were stretched to thin to guard the entrance?… Or perhaps this wasn't the place at all and Naruto was…

Forcing the thought back, he carefully made his way through the sprawling catacombs; trying to find the cavern he had seen once before. It wasn't long before his ears picked up a noise. The worst kind of suffering imaginable belonged to the maker of that sound. A weak exhaling breath laced with pure unbearable agony. Naruto.

His heart felt pierced and reflexively he clutched his chest in an attempt to ease the hurt. Heart beat racing. He is momentarily shocked for not the first time, at the extreme reactions he has to Naruto's peril. His almost unstoppable desire to burst in there and save him. But it would only get them both killed.

Trying not to alert anyone to his presence, his footsteps fall silently; his hand the hilt of his katana.

And then he sees it. Not ten feet away an immensely powerful red light casts through the doorway to an even greater cavern. Chakra. It hangs thick in the air, angry and twisting, momentarily overwhelming his senses.

Back against the wall he slides forward to the edge of the entrance…. Pausing... sensing... waiting… the noise continues… and the pain continues, and Sasuke thinks it would be kinder to die than endure that. Pain. Pain. Pain.

_I don't care, dobe. You endure it, God damnit. You endure it!_

Dragging his breathing under control, he slowly he leans around the corner. Searching, searching. Nothing could prepare him for this. He sees.

He draws his head back around the corner so quickly his skull bashes against the stone wall, sending stars into his vision. Vainly he tries to close his eyes against the image but it is no good. His back and palms pressed against the wall so hard as though he might fall without its support. And whether he is aware of it or not, his eyes leak with tears that cannot be explained away.

The reality of Naruto's situation is awful beyond compare. Completely dwarfed by the sheer size of the cavern. He is alone at the very center of the room, suspended entirely by the malovent red chakra. It is hazy like a bleeding mist. His back arches painfully back. Limbs and head thrown back against no support, adding to the abusive strain on his overly bent spine. Body taught with near breaking tension. And from his eyes and mouth, thick chords of red chakra flow like rivers, pouring into the immense stone idol that looms above him. A grotesque many eyed monstrosity.

Sasuke watches in silent horror, unable to move as at that moment an eye opens. Counting quickly… Twelve eyes…. Eleven were open… One more and he would… No. It wouldn't come to that.

And all the while Naruto's mouth remained as though shaped around the screams of his very soul. Sasuke knew that on the inside, Naruto's wrecked body was screaming, screaming, screaming. But all that came out was that sound. That exhaling agonized sound, like a man who had fought so hard for life finally surrendering his last breath, only to be cheated of the relief of death. And so it continued… on and on.

A heavy blow connectswith Sasuke's chest, sending him flying and landing and sliding along the ground in utter shock.

So consumed by Naruto's situation he didn't see it coming. He looks up.

"Well well, little brother... I should have known you would come sniffing around after that miserable little whelp."

"Itachi."

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_So how am I going? Thanks for reading! XXOO_


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